And honestly I didn’t intend to fully walk away, but the way the church turned on me forced me to leave permanently,” he said. Career, marriage, family, social standing, network, reputation, all gone in an instant. “Eventually I pulled the lever and dropped the bomb. To save himself, he claims, he chose to walk away from the church and, apparently, his family.
Strangely, Gass did not mention his personal choices as the reason for his loss of faith or the loss of trust with his wife.
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Being a pastor – a professional Christian – was killing me,” Gass claims. My internal stress started to show in physical symptoms. Eventually I could not maintain the facade anymore, I started to have mental and emotional breaks. I was gas lighting myself to stay in the faith. “This massive cognitive dissonance – my beliefs not matching with reality – created a separation between my head and my heart. He said he struggled so much with his church experience it began to affect his mental and ultimately physical health. The people who were devout were the most miserable, but just kept trying harder,” he said.
“An inescapable reality that I came to was that the people who benefited the most from organized religion were the fringe attenders who didn’t take it too seriously. He went on to discuss how miserable his life eventually became as his expectations, including experiencing the supernatural failed to match up with the reality he was experiencing. I did everything I was supposed to – marriage workshops, counseling, bible reading together, date nights every week, marriage books – but my marriage never became what I was promised it would be,” he said. “As an adult my marriage was a sham and a constant source of pain for me. None of it, he claims, helped his marriage and he apparently continued to sin and break his marriage vows for at least a year while serving at Grace Family according to the Christian Post. I had completely memorized 18 books of the bible and was reading through the bible for the 24th time when I walked away,” he wrote. I think I missed maybe 12 Sundays in 40 years. “I was fully devoted to studying the scriptures. The answers were lies.”Įven so, he grew up to be a serious Christian, he claims, who rarely missed church or failed to study Scripture. He explained how he was raised in a “hyper-fundamentalist” Christian home where Christianity “didn’t work.
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